Simple America

I got back from the funeral, melancholy and depressed. I have a mailbox for my business near my house. Good news out of my direct mailing only one letter was returned due to a bad address. One point for the list company. NOW WHERE ARE ALL MY CLIENTS! Sniff sniff.

Get home and pick up the mail there. Got something from the Internal Revenue Service (IRS). I’m thinking it must be something for the biz. But no, the addressee is my wife and I . WTF? Oh well.

Go in the house and make some lunch. I open the letter from the IRS. I’m like losing my appetite. This letter indicates I owe the government over $2,000 in taxes. I’m like SHIT!!! The first thought is greedy, how will I get tax clients if I cannot do my own taxes. But I calm down and look over the rest of the information and see that the last company I worked for, lets call them Asshole Forge Corp, has reported an additional $9,000 in wages than what I recorded.

Well I went and got my 2003 tax forms (the tax period in question) and I pulled out my W-2s for the missus and me and added them. Still footed to the number I reported. I start looking at all my information to see if anything was income in the $9,000 range. Nadda.

I think about calling Asshole Force Corp, but I don’t want to talk to them really. These people used me for a year, as I was the only one who new the accounting system for Cool Forge Corp (Asshole Forge bought Cool Forge fake name alert) and then dumped me after we got the data converted to Asshole Forge’s accounting system. I worked 32 hours straight overnight and on the weekend to make sure the damn thing worked right. It did and once it was verified they dumped me. Now I’m looking at this tax letter and I’m thinking, well this just fucking me part 2.

But I decide I will call the IRS first. See if they can help me. I call. I wait on the line for 30 minutes and finally get a person. I give her my info, she grills me to make sure that I am really me. I am. Then she looks at my case. Oh Simple American, we’re sorry. This was our mistake. We have already put in to send you a letter that we did make a mistake. You should get that letter in 6 to 8 weeks. We’re SORRY.

WTF!!!! Oh well I kept my cool. Damn that’s a scary fricking feeling. What a day. Death and taxes. The two things you cannot avoid and I get slammed upside the head by both on the same day.

Thank goodness for my son. He helped put life back in perspective. He received his Senior Second Degree Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do last night. He looked cute in his uniform and deadly. When he received his belt he looked back to make sure that the missus and I were watching. Good thing we were.

Friday morning was the day for funeral of the husband of the lady I work closely with. I felt kind of bad that I could not make the visitation the night before, but my son is lonely and I needed to feed him too.

I still don’t want to go the funeral. Its just my nature. If the wrong thing happens I’ll cry like a baby. I’m the same way at weddings. Hell I cried three times when I watched the last Star Wars movie. It’s just me. My feminine side arrives at times like these.

They closed the office and I drove over to one of the local Methodist churches. Parking lot was pretty crowded. The deceased was part of the emergency response team from Dow Chemical. They had folks from as far away as California volunteer to cover the positions of his coworkers so they could attend the funeral. Lots of people showed up and his family was also huge. His wife seemed strong considering she just lost her husband. I recognized a lot of the faces from photos in her office. I sat down and listened to the music and read his obituary.

After I finished reading I thought about where I was and what I was doing. I felt more out of place in this little town, where everyone else seems to know each other. This unfortunate event has inspired me more deeply to get my business working and stay close to my own home and the poeple I know.

Other thoughts led me to think about my own death. I’m pretty sure I have already lived more than half my life. All the bad habits I had in my younger days cannot contribute to a long life. So while sitting there I thought, what songs do I want my friends and family to listen to at my funeral? Let me also qualify that I do not want anyone singing at my funeral. If they could find a good organist like I am accustomed to hearing at Berachah Church that would be good.

The songs I want played are, and in this order:

The Battle Hymn of the Republic
Dixie
Dog Face Soldier (This is the song of the US Army Infantryman)
Far Far Away (Bagpipes would be nice)
Yellow Rose of Texas
Star Spangled Banner (Everyone will stand and may sing this song only)

When they wheel me out after the memorial service I request they play:
Amazing Grace
Beethoven’s Song of Joy

The only person that needs to speak during the service is the pastor. Anyone that feels they have to cry out amen will be slapped. That’s so hokey. I’m not going to tell the pastor how to do his job. But want folks to understand that I will have achieved victory over death and that’s all I want people to understand. I’ll be in heaven having a good time talking with people I have not seen in years or read about in history books and the Bible. I hope to see you all when it is your time to shed your soul from this clay and join the light.

I received some AFL CIO propaganda in the mail yesterday. This group calls itself Working America and they are spreading disinformation on gas prices. They are trying to pin the blame for high tax prices on the oil companies and get Congress to do something about. In fact, they are focusing in particular on my Congressman, Representative Tom DeLay. They are trying to say that gas prices have gone up 35% and oil company profits have gone up 35% as well.

So I asked myself what does a gallon of gas cost. I’m CPA who has a lot of cost accounting experience. That translates into tracking expenses on simple things like menu items to more complicated fabricated steel products. I should be able to get an idea what a gallon of gasoline costs.

So I went to the how stuff works website, a component of Money magazine and they had some good information. They break down the price of gas into 4 components:

Distribution & Marketing Costs and Profits 13%

Refining Costs & Profits 13%

Taxes 31%

Crude Oil 43%

Crude is the largest component of the cost of gas. The price of crude is determined by (Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries) OPEC. OPEC determines the production of crude oil. Not all crude is created equal either. Some types of crude are easy to refine. The heavier crude requires retooling the refineries, which increases the costs of production. The lighter sweet crude’s supply has been running low in recent time. OPEC controls production of oil. If they see more oil being pumped than they desire, then they will decrease production and this impacts the price. The price of light crude today was $59.11 a barrel. A barrel of gas is 42 US gallons. That is $1.41 a gallon.

RefiningOil companies purchase the crude from the supplier and send it to a refinery. The US is currently limited in how much gasoline it can produce by the number of refineries the oil companies own. The oil companies have not built a new refinery since 1976. The oil companies do have to put money into maintaining these facilities, but is America hurting itself by not increasing its capacity. Over the last few decades many smaller refineries have been closed do to inefficiencies. More production would mean a greater supply, which could help decrease the price. Some parts of the country require different chemical mixtures in their gas, usually to cut down on pollution. These different mixes increase the cost of refining.

Now one gallon of crude oil does not enter the refinery and become one gallon of gasoline. When the crude is cooked it can make several different products in a process called fractional distillation. You cook the crude at a certain temperature and take vapor and allow it to condense. Different temperatures produce different components. Today there is chemical processing that allows certain products to be converted into a product that the gas company would rather produce. This is helpful when supplies in one product are low. Gasoline is about 40% of the crude oil. But with chemical processing the oil company can take some other components and convert them to gasoline as well. This chemical processing is also called cracking, because the process literal cracks large hydrocarbons into smaller versions.

Distribution and marketing is another cost component. When the oil companies buy crude overseas they have to ship it to the refinery. For oil pumped on American soil it has to move through a pipeline or a truck to the refinery. Once the gas is ready for the consumer it needs to take a ride again to the corner service station. The farther the state is from the oil refineries of the Gulf of Mexico, the more the cost will be. The cost of convincing the consumer to buy gas from the oil company, advertising, goes into this component as well.

Taxes are the second largest component of the gas price. Federal excise taxes are 18.4% on each gallon. State excise taxes average 20 cents per gallon. Overseas the taxes are much higher. England has a 78% tax on a $6 gallon of gas.

The service station tacks on a few cents per gallon. At some stations this may go as high as a dime.

Okay today a gallon of gas in my part of Texas is $2.09 for regular. So lets say we process the crude to make 60% of the barrel into gasoline. That’s 60% of $1.41 which gives us .84 cents or 40.4%. Lets tack on the taxes. $2.09 a gallon results in $.38 to the feds and Texas charges $.20 for each gallon. That is a total of $.58 to the gallon or 28.0%.

So right at the beginning we have a cost of $1.32 and I have not considered anything beyond crude and taxes. I could not find data that provides the refinery costs, I will use the 13% rate from the How Stuff Works site and do the same for marketing & distribution. That comes to $.27 each for both of those. Add both of them to the $1.32 and the cost of gas is 1.86. Give the station a nickel mark up and the margin is .18 cents or 8.6%.

So where is the gas companies’ 35% profit increase? That would mean they increased the price to capture $.06. That’s all that Working America has to gripe about. This is a pretty expensive looking mailer. It cost more than $.06 to mail and don’t forget the postage. I hope they save their money next time.

And one other thing Working America. I don’t want Congress telling any company how to price their product or service. That would be communism. If I allow Congress to fix the prices, then Congress is no better than a monopoly facilitator. I don’t want cartels fixing prices and I don’t want my government becomoming a cartel. Next thing you know they will come and tell me how to bill my clients. I like the free market myself. It works. Let it.

I ran across this and found it to be way to funny not to share.

COWS

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that the US government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington and they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around the country. Maybe we should give them all a cow.

CONSTITUTION

They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don’t we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it’s worked for over 200 years and we’re not using it anymore.

TEN COMMANDMENTS

The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a Courthouse! You cannot post “Thou Shalt Not Steal,” “Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery” and “Thou Shall Not Lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians! It creates a hostile work environment!

And Last but not least….. on Martha Stewart… “Boy, I feel a lot safer now that she’s behind bars. O.J. Simpson, Michael Jackson, Robert Blake, and Kobe Bryant are still walking around free…Osama Bin Laden too…but they take the one woman in America willing to cook, clean, and work in the yard, and haul her off to jail.”

GOD BLESS AMERICA!

Texas politics is sickening as usual. The governor, Rick Perry, called a special session to deal with school finance and tax reform. He can call these folks in, but he unfortunately he cannot control what the agenda.

What do these folks do when they get in there? They vote state judges a 25 % raise in their salary. What some people may not realize, though, is that in Texas representatives and senators have their pension tied to judges’ salaries. Some of these men and women can now conceivably receive a 6 figure annual payment upon retirement.

When this country was established, one of the tenets was that representatives would be people that came from normal life and that service would be an honorable sacrifice. This would also keep the government small, as the representative needed to finish government business quickly and return home to mind their business or farm, lest they not be able to provide for their family. This is not the case anymore. Now we have the professional politician, who is more beholden to lobbyist and special interest groups, than the voter.

Case in point, Kyle Janek (who I use to think was one of the good guys) tries to tack on an amendment to a bill at two in the morning. This would give pharmaceutical companies a break on their taxes. Excuse me Mr. Janek. Where’s my damn tax break? I am not able to vote for you, but I know a lot of folks in your district and I WILL make them aware of your priorities. Which, apparently are not for your constituency.

School teachers have got the shaft again too. They used to receive $1,000 to help them purchase medical insurance. Well the legislature took that away and then gave them a $1,000 raise in salary. They have attempted to tout this off as a big service to teachers. I have not researched it yet, but I wonder if this move had tax consequences? I wonder if the insurance stipend was not taxable income. I know salaries are taxed. The result would be a loss in cash as now the teachers would have more money withheld for taxes. Ed will let me know if that happens to him, I’m sure.

The lottery is also starting to fail in Texas. Not as many people are playing. Recently, it is reported that the lottery commission actually lied about jackpots hoping people would buy more tickets. Bastards better get some jail time. I call it fraud, criminal fraud. The lottery is just a tax that the poor pay. And if the game is in trouble, I tell you what folks. If you play you better take the cash option and not the multiyear payout plan. You may not see the money otherwise. And the lottery is such a lie from the beginning. Anne “Ma” Richards, former governor promised that the lottery was here to help finance schools. A couple of weeks before the final vote, they tacked on a change that put the lottery money in the general fund. Last year more money was spent on advertising the lottery, than paying for Texas children’s education out of the lottery earnings.

Come on Texans. Its time to tell these legislators who votes for them. I say throw out the entire lot, both houses and the Lieutenant Governor too. Let’s get people in there that care about Texas and go back to the original intent of the Texas constitution. We used to hang people for stealing horses in this state. Now we let ‘em slowly take our hard earned income and place a permanent lien on our real property.
Stand up Texas.

Be heard.

Be proud.

Be Texan.

Great game at Minutemaid last night. Astros hosted the Phillies. Hey Mike you a fan? It looked on paper life it would be a good pitching duel. Roy Oswalt of Houston taking on Philadelphia’s John Lieber. And it proved to be a pitcher’s game. Lieber was a little shaky in first inning and gave up a homerun to Craig Biggio who had hit two just the night before. Then Morgan Ensberg slammed a ball against the wall in deep centerfield (435 ft.) that would have been a homerun anywhere else. Instead he had to settle for a triple and that’s as far he got. Lieber was exceptional the rest of the way.

Oswalt had great control and he struck out 9 batters over 9 innings. His only trouble came in the sixth inning Jimmy Rollins hit a double. Then Kenny Lofton laid down a bunt single that moved Rollins to third. This brought Chase Utley a very dangerous hitter to the plate. He had doubled in his last at bat. This time he hit a sharp ground ball that Morgan Ensberg fielded beautifully. He quickly flipped the ball to Craig Biggio who made the pivot and tossed it on to Mike Lamb at first base to complete the double play. Rollins ran home for the score and the game was tied.

So now we are hoping for a run, but Lieber is stingy and no Astro can hit him. He goes out at the end of the 7th inning as they put in pinch hitter. Ugeth Urbina comes into pitch the 8th inning for the Phillies. He strikes out 2 Astros and gives up a walk.

Oswalt gets the Phillies out quickly in the top of the 9th. I’m starting to think this could be a long night. The Phillies put in pitcher Ryan Madsen who starts off the inning with first baseman Mike Lamb. The count works its way to two balls and a strike. Then Madsen hangs a fastball down the middle and Lamb knocks it over the right field fence for a walk off homerun. I can hear the Astros announcer in my mind, Milo Hamilton, “Astros win! Astros win!”

Fun game to go to when it is so close all the way through. Thirteen of us attended the game as Troop 80 traveled to the game in style in one of St. Agnes’ vans. We were pretty comfy. Had a great parking spot and only had to walk 3 blocks to get to the park. The killer was food. I bought my son and myself each a foot long hot dog, a drink and a bag crackerjacks. Just like that $30 is gone. Ouch!

It was fun being with these guys. Talking baseball, talking scouting, and watching the game. There was a family sitting in front of us that must have been a party of 14 folks with a lot of teenagers, boys and girls. One of girls, Julie was celebrating her 16th birthday and this outgoing lad got us to join them in singing happy birthday. She turned a lovely shade of red during our rendition of that happy tune. I asked one of the Dad’s sitting next to me, “Should we let ‘em know we do show tunes on request?”

The funniest part of the game was after Lamb’s homer. I told my son time to go. He thought the game was not yet over. The Astros had not made 3 outs. I had to explain that once the home team has the lead after 8 innings are finished the game is done. He was cool then. The crowd was good last night. Did not see any obnoxious folks, which I have encountered in the past. I think a good memory for all the boys and fathers too.

I need to apologize for my post regarding the bloke that got shot in London. I don’t pretend to be a journalist, not my reason for being here. I just type what’s going on between these two big ears. But I condemned him a little too quickly and I just want everyone to recognize that I accept that I made an error and I will try and not be driven by my emotions in future posts.

It just felt good to think a little impact was being made in the terror war. The death is unfortunate. My concern now is that the London police do not also became a victim and lose their ability to act against terror in that city.

Heard on the radio today that over 50,000 insurgents have been killed in the last 7 months. I have looked for confirmation on this and have not found it yet. Sure would like for it to be true. If anybody can find a link to this info please post it in the comments.

This is something the main stream media would never publish. They focus on our dead and the innocent civilians that have died as they try to create dissension and ruin morale at home like they did in Viet Nam. Why do they long for a terrorist victory?

Okay I’m back at work. Brought my son to work with me today because we are going to the baseball game at Minutemaid Park tonight. Cannot afford to leave early again. Don’t know who is playing, but I’m betting the home team is the Astros? Wonder who’s pitching? I used to be such a big fan when I was kid. Read the sports page everyday and bored people with stats ad nauseum… Now I go to a game and I’m like, who are those guys? Same is true for football and basketball. I follow the NHL a little closer, especially the Phoenix Coyotes, but after no season last season I don’t know if I care about them either.

Wish I was still playing hockey. It’s so much fun, the pushing and shoving. Moving the puck up the ice, scoring a goal, getting bashed in the boards after scoring a goal. Doing stuff when the ref is looking the other way. Man I need to shed 60 pounds and sharpen my blades. I could keep the weight off when I was skating at least 3 times a week. Prolly not gonna happen. Too expensive with da kids in private school.

The drive was kind of nice with the boy this morning. I pointed out this one nice ranch house with a huge cow field in the front and trees all along the sides and back. Good feng shui there. I asked how he’d like that for a front yard? He thought it was too big. I told him with that much room we’d get dirt bikes or 4 wheelers and chase cows all day. He liked that idea. I’m not sure how the cows would feel about it.

Well today my son had to stay by himself. It is not the first time but for some reason he seemed apprehensive about it. Said he was going to stay in bed all day and not leave his room. He’s 12 and I remember just love being home by myself when I was his age. Had no time to find alternative for him. Too late.

So I get to work and I’m doing stuff. Decide I better call him. No answer. Call again. No answer. I’m thinking, oh he meant he wasn’t leaving his room didn’t he. I call again in 15 minutes, maybe he was in the can. No answer. Go outside and call on my cell. No answer.

I’m like shit. What to do? I’m like if I run home then he may expect this everytime. But what if he’s hurt himself. Call again. And again. And again.

Time goes by. My wife calls. She just got off the plane in Detroit. She wants to make sure I woke up. I better be its a 11 o’clock. I tell her about the boy. She’s nonchalant. Sez take some work and go home. Not a bad idea. Just might look bad with all the big wigs gone and secretary too. Oh well as the auditor I really report to the President of the College and refuse to supervise anybody. Got to maintain as much independence as possbile to do my job. Everbody knows this so they don’t look to me for direction. So I zip a file of spreadsheets and email it home.

Then I drive home. One hour and fifteen minutes of anxiety filled driving. Almost home and the cell rings. My house. Answer it and its the boy. I could choke him. He heard the phone but kept missing answering it in time. Does he call back? No. Kids.

Its lunch time so I make us some grub to eat. Then I go upstairs to work. The files I sent home have a virus, (thanks for catching them McAfee) so I am dead in the water. Too long to drive back. Oh well guess I work late this week. Not tomorrow as the scouts are going to the Astros game.

It is Monday and I am worn out from the short nights of last weekend. Walked into work and don’t even make it to my office and an HR lady approaches me. I’m like, uh oh, got another audit and 2 days to prep? But no she tells me that the Business Office Manager’s husband died Saturday while sleeping in his recliner. Whoa!

Mortality check. Dude was not that old. 55 I would guess. He recently had some surgery, so you wonder if that contributed to his demise. There’s going to be autopsy. He’s not much older than me.

Really picked a bad week, cause the Dean for the Business Office is on vacation. So everyone is being real stiff like, as these folks don’t have direction today and each one of the lady’s visited my office with a “Did you know about so and so?” I’m never comfortable in this situation. Don’t like to chit chat about this, but don’t want to be heartless.

This is a day when people think more about what is to come. I do not worry about death. As a Christian the whole thing is taken care of. To fear it would be blasphemy. The concern has to be about those who remain. So I guess I need to stop blogging and make an appointment with a lawyer to get some loose ends taken care of.