Sudden Death in the Office

Well it had to happen to me sooner or lady. I’ve always been jumpy and damn if it did not get the best of me today. The office microwave is in a small storage room. There is only one door into this room and it always shuts no matter what. Well I placed my leftover roast duck and flat noodle in the microwave for 2 and half minutes and headed back to my office to clean some tomatoes. Yep tomatoes, the imagery just kills me.

I opened the door and much to my surprise there is the little old granny that offices next to me. Jokingly she says, “Boo.”

It happened so quick. It shocks me every time I look back at this brief moment, no mere second. But her sudden appearance hit on the old primal instincts Uncle Sam developed. In a split second I grabbed her head and snapped her neck like a twig. Damn the training worked. Oh shit.

But why now? I have been away from that life over 20 years now. Why in the hell am I so damn jumpy? Well fortunately, she made no sound besides her playful boo. Her momentum from entering the room had me hugging her so she did not plop on the ground, which might have attracted some undo attention. I dragged her inside the room and hid her body in the shredding pile.

By the time I had covered her the timer beeped from the microwave. Damn near crapped myself. I grabbed my food and walked back to my office. I set the dish on the desk and my hands are jittering. Somebody down the hall was laughing at a joke which put my nerves even more on edge. I ate some duck to calm myself down. Food has always been my opium whenever my nerves get frazzled. Today that was a mistake. Two bites and a swallow had me sprinting down to the toilet, where I promptly lost the duck and breakfast. My cheeks sweated and I wet a paper towel to clean off my face.

The door opens to the john and there’s the Dean. Oh shit, I think.

“You alright. I heard somebody get ill”, he spoke. His dark eyes showing concern.

I responded, “Something I ate got me. I think I will head home. Just don’t feel right.”

“Sure. Go ahead. See you tomorrow if you feel better.”

And he backed out the door. My fricking heart felt like it would explode. I have to get out of here. I stepped out and saw the Dean heading out of the office. Lunchtime he was right on schedule. Everybody else was working or eating. With the half of the staff gone to eat that meant the rest had to stay at their desks. I needed to move immediately.

Then I saw it. A garbage can and it was the heavy duty number that the housekeeping folks used. They were at lunch too. I pushed it to the storeroom. I grabbed the corpse and dumped her in the can. Next I covered her body with the shredding. I left all of my things in my office, including my cell phone. Was not going to let anyone find me that way. Just in case I needed to run. I hoped they would just think I left my other things because I’m ill. I had no time to consider gathering my stuff. Not if I was going to get away.

I pushed the bin out of the building and across the parking lot. Just waiting for someone to come and ask me where the hell I’m taking the garbage. The whole time I’m thinking, why do I have to be so jumpy? Damn it to hell. Nerves are just killing me. Some irony that. Despite my stupidity, and I say this in retrospect after rolling the garbage bin all of the way to my car, I made it unchallenged. In fact, my luck for the moment was quite good. Not a soul in sight. Idiots working security not worth their weight in dung. I opened the trunk and dumped the body and half the damn shredding inside. Slammed it shut and pushed the trashcan away so I could back up.

Sat down and keyed the ignition. I screeched the tires as I backed out. Damn, I took a deep breath and decided to risk a stick of gum. I hoped that gum chewing would calm me down. It took all of my focus to keep my speed at 20 miles an hour across the campus. The road felt much longer than it had been that morning.

From there I had to use cruise control. I could afford no lapses in concentration that might lead to a speeding ticket. I drove like a model citizen as I headed home praying for an idea. The idea hit me when I exited 288 at Rosharen. That’s where I spotted the sign for Brazos Bend State Park. I pass this place everyday and just ignore it. It’s got all of those alligators. Problem solved.

I was so damned worried. The missus is home so I did not want to go there until I dumped the body. At least I did not have to run to Mexico. But hell. Dump the lady in Bend. The gators eat a bit and I don’t have to change a thing about my life. I can go to work tomorrow and be just as clueless as everyone else. Where did she go? What could have happened to her?

The thought slowed my heart beat just a bit. Not a whole lot, but it felt a lot better than it had. Cruise control took me on down the road. Even caught a green light at 521. I cannot remember the last time I was not stopped at that intersection.

Getting rid of the body was a charm. Gators are probably still hibernating, but I put her in a good spot. Hopefully the vultures don’t give it away. Tried to anchor the body so it won’t float back to shore, but I‘ll be damned if I ever go back there and check.

I’m home now. My wife is surprised I’m home of course. Want to make this blog entry real quick. And then I’m taking a nap. Need some sleep. I am just too damn jumpy.

Oh yeah Skinwalker is doing good. You can read the press release here http://gamingreport.com/article.php?sid=20098&mode=thread&order=0 and the first review is out here http://www.rpg-resource.org.uk/index.php?article=1806&visual=4 .

Gosh this was ugly. I’ve edited it bit now. I only have an hour for lunch and thats when I wrote this. Little clearer read now.

37 Responses to “Sudden Death in the Office”

  1. Simple American Says:

    No one died. Though when my neighbor opened that door I almost had a heart attack. I didn’t even go home.

  2. Neal5x5 Says:

    Drat. And here I was going to give you tips on body disposal. It’s really more of an art.

  3. Simple American Says:

    hahaha Thanks Neal.

  4. mistipurple Says:

    hahaha it was well written. sorry i knew you didn’t kill the old lady because you are the sweetest guy on earth! (but it did had me worried at some point.) lol.

    on a more serious note, i thought it sounded like a skinwalker episode in action. if it is anything like this, damn it is pretty heart thumping. congratulations once more. i am so proud of you.

  5. Abaniko Says:

    you must have an extraordinarily BIG car for the heavy duty garbage can with the body and the shreddings in it to fit in the trunk. LOL! great story there SA. very suspenseful. more, more..

  6. may Says:

    oh dang! I thought the gators were a body-disposal idea. did you have duck & noodle anyway? ;)

  7. may Says:

    oops… I mean “I thought the gators were a great body-disposal idea”…

  8. socialpest Says:

    i am so proud of you!!! The first review shouldn’t have been so short! Hmph! But anyhow, it sounds promising. :)

  9. Simple American Says:

    @misti Skinwalker is much more intense than this little story. You could be talking to someone you chat with everyday and it could be the Skinwalker and you would not recognize any difference. He’d look just like your friend. Or he could be the bird eavesdropping on your conversation or the mouse that’s hiding in your cubbard.

    But that lady scared the heck out of me. Aiyah!.

    @abaniko. I did not take the garbage can. Tried to clarify it when I edited. I got a huge trunk. It could fit in my trunk btw. It’s that big, but you’re right a this type of garbage can would not fit.

    @ahmay Oh yeah. I had the roast duck and flat noodles. I wish I would have brought some sauce. Had a pair of tomatoes too. It was yummy.

    Most of my writing usually compiles in my head, sometimes months before I can spit it out. Skinwalker for example took two years. But this little story just hit me out of no where and it was done by the end of lunch.

    I had really only planned on posting my review. keke Then the mean old lady scared me. ;) And she’s really a sweetie.

    @socialpest Actually that is one of the longer reviews for this genre. Megan loves 12 to Midnight’s stuff and I hope to go and meet her in England at UK Gencon someday. She always beats all of the other reviewers.

  10. laymank Says:

    Impressive!

    I would that there be more contradicting thoughts (between good and evil), conscience pricks against reality and all those turmoils inside ‘you’.

    but hey, it’s action , not psycho story… just my 2 cents. :p

    Cool…!

  11. yvy Says:

    aiyoo!!! shocked me for a moment there!! so bad lar u khor…..lol :P

  12. crazycat Says:

    kekeke… u GOT me for a brief moment, but then i just tell myslf daddy would never ever do such a thing.. hehe…

    :P

  13. Simple American Says:

    @laymank The horror story is a guy writes a blog entry like this and then the old lady really disappears. The author becomes the prime suspect.

    @YvY kekeke Got ya AhMui.

    @Cat I’m such a bad Dad.

  14. pinkie Says:

    i tot it’s real… hehe… but it just aint you! lol…

    eeekk… kinda scary though…

  15. JoMel Says:

    I knew it was a story. Nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh…. ;)

    Roast duck and noodles… yummmy… supper time here.

  16. Simple American Says:

    @pinkie It scared me first. Just the thought. Thats one of the things I’ve found as a writer is shock myself first. Then I have to figure out a way to share the fear with the reader. I don’t know why people like to be scared, but they do.

    @jomel Be careful if you stick your tongue out Jo. I have the habit of grabbing recalcitant tongues, as some of my other readers know already. Then what will you do? hehe ;)

    It was good, but I ate a little too much. Today I have left over catfish and corn on the cob.

  17. Jane Says:

    How was that old lady look like?

  18. Simple American Says:

    She looked like the lady in the next office. Almost 65 gray haired and chubby.

    Maybe I should take a picture?

  19. mistipurple Says:

    …. sounds just like me. :p

  20. socialpest Says:

    by the way SA, your first line “Well it had to happen to me sooner or lady”. sooner or lady? is that how they say later over at your side of the world?

  21. Simple American Says:

    You know misti if you said boo I would not be scared.

    Yes socialpest After I have edited the text on this post TWICE. That is how we say it NOW. Deposit a hug on the way to the door. ;)

  22. mistipurple Says:

    bbbbBBBBOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! *pant*

  23. Simple American Says:

    Perhaps a cup of tea is in order mei mei.

  24. mistipurple Says:

    could you add a dash of lime?
    thanks.. ah-chooo. that virtual feather’s getting to me.

  25. Simple American Says:

    hehe Of course I could mei mei.

  26. Alisa Says:

    I thought that was excellent!!! It was very … lifelike which made it that much more interesting to read.

  27. Simple American Says:

    Thanks alisa. Glad you enjoyed it.

  28. fantasyflier Says:

    Darn, tot I could learn some real stuff here. Feeding to the Gators, I wonder if CSI Miami has a take on this?

  29. Simple American Says:

    We’ll feed the CSI guys to the gators too. This is a job for the Texas Rangers. The gators are convenient. Just a 15 minute drive from the house. ;)

  30. ray ray Says:

    maybe you should show the lady this story, I don’t think she would sneak up on you again after that!

  31. Simple American Says:

    Yeah ray ray. I think the entire bix office would have a whole different attitude in regards to me. Tempting thought that.

    We’ll see. ;)

  32. JoMel Says:

    I will bite your finger before you have the chance to do that. Tigers have sharp teeth. ;)

  33. Simple American Says:

    @jomel *roar* hehehehe I guess I may need a whip and chair too.

  34. JoMel Says:

    LOL! ;D *performs a dance for you, on the chair* ;)

  35. Simple American Says:

    Gosh *blushes* I just wanted to protect myself.

  36. Kunstemaecker Says:

    Now I see. Didn’t have the time to read it all yesterday.

    It seems someone is using my “where-does-reality-end-and-fiction-start” technique.

    Good job S man, love it!

  37. Simple American Says:

    Hey K Man! I always have these little seeds pop in my head. Pretty frightening sometimes. I just made me write through this.

    Did not do a good enough jo as the police never came by to check out this story.

    Though I am still trying to figure out why my clothes are muddy. hmmmmm….

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