A Post Almost Forgotten (The Pain In Deed)
Some lady tagged me. Oh wait a minute. Her royal majesty, the Hijack Queen, tagged me! Just when I thought I was painting those roses red she said off with his head. Chop! Chop! From out of that useless bean popped a meme long owed to her worshipfulness.
This meme requires that I list 10 ways the missus pisses me off. Or how to get divorced in 10 points by a blabbermouth. Drum rolls and cigaretters please. Careful with the blindfold.
- She talks while we watch TV. But only when the actors are talking. Cannot wait for a commercial?
- If the dishwasher is full, she will turn it on while we are watching TV. No waiting for later.
- When we turn up the TV because of the noisy dishwasher, she complains the TV is too loud.
- Makes me feel guilty whenever I buy something fun such as a game, book, or video. Does not stop me. But ouch, the angst.
- Cooks with every pot and pan in the house on school nights. I come home from work; eat and wash dishes for the rest of the evening. Content with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich if I get some time to unwind from the day.
- Everytime I fill in the holes along side the driveway I can count on her digging a new rut with the car next time she backs up.
- She thinks I’m Bob the Builder. I don’t know a left-handed monkey wrench from a can of liquid squelch.
- When ever her car breaks down I am always out of contact or town. And this is reminded to me everytime I break down as she rescues me. Can I help it if I need a heroine?
- It is my fault that my cell phone does not ring when she calls? I eventually get the missed call buzzy wuzzy and call her back. And that is when I get the you never pick up rant.
- I hate it when she tells me to shave off my beard. Doesn’t she understand I have to maintain the sinister horror writer living on the brink of sanity look? Dun she understand marketing? Oh wait. She’s not a geek. How could she?
There you go your highness. I have completed the tag. Phew. Yay!
On a side note. After two weeks of South Beach Diet I am now at 259 (118 kg). That is a loss of 10 pounds (4.5 kg). Woo hoo!
May 22nd, 2007 at 2:00 pm
chuppppppppp first.
SA: Blue Chuppin First Ribbons!!!
May 22nd, 2007 at 2:04 pm
o.O
so many regarding the TV! LOL!
u shud definitely ask her to read this!
and congrats for losing so much weight in such a short time! do u know i’ve basically wasted so many yrs just to gain my pathetic weight, but to no avail??? *sigh*
SA: Have her read this? It ain’t gonna change her. kekekek
Thanks. Man I wish I could give you some of this. But on second thought you would be better off with muscles than fat. Muscle is also heavier.
May 22nd, 2007 at 2:17 pm
Ha, the Queen of the House. Say no more… *quietly tiptoes away*
That many kilos in that short a time?!! Good grief! *runs fast this time*
SA: I’ve said more than enough. I need the weight loss so I can out run her. *Vroom kof kof*
Red Kilo-Filled Ribbons
May 22nd, 2007 at 3:30 pm
i cannot imagine you annoyed
SA: It happens too often. Fortunately, blogoland usually only sees happy cuddly me.
White Ribbons
May 22nd, 2007 at 3:33 pm
wait just a minute, you do dishes?!
SA: On school nights when the boy has home work. The missus worked and cooked. Not about to leave the dishes for her. Though I think that is on her list. haha
May 22nd, 2007 at 4:44 pm
strange, I thought you did this tag before! my eyes are playing tricks on me…
congrats on losing that weight! WTG!
SA: I did the other tag May. The one where I list 5 baddies about me and anudda 5 about her. I just picked ten more for her. kekek No tricks! Honest,
Thanks.
May 22nd, 2007 at 5:40 pm
i talk when the TV is talking too! haa! might even whisper questions when m in the cinema! oh someone pls plaster me! hahah
dont shave ur beard.
SA: But you are winderliu so we can forgive or duct tape.
I won’t shave. You likey. Me hansem.
May 22nd, 2007 at 5:54 pm
hmmm I too so thought you did this tag before…and woo what does the south beach diet involves?? congrats on losing the weight!!! you’ll need it before going to south east asia!!! haha I need to lose weight too!!! arghh
SA: I did a similat one Nicole. The South Beach involves dumping all of the bad foods. Got to eat vegetables. Can you do that? Also two weeks no fruits, breads, milk, and nuts. Cook everything in olive oil. No white rice, no potatoes, no sugar and a bunch of other no, no, no. Not that hard. Get the book. It should be cheap now. If you are persistent you can lose weight with this life style.
May 22nd, 2007 at 7:12 pm
The top three have something to do with the TV. From what I see in comic strips, you’re a typical American husband. Haha.
SA: Fortunately I keep my TV watching down to 4 or 5 hours a week at the maximum. This lessens my agravation. hehe
May 22nd, 2007 at 8:47 pm
Let see… 5 + 10 = 15! Gosh, where are you going to sleep tonight? 10 is bad and you managed to digged 15 faults in her! Dang. *slowly tip-toe and RUN!)
Actually your previous meme http://simple-america.com/blog/2007/05/17/but-i-thought-everything-was-perfect/ and this one is the same. I think Giddy Tiger twisted a bit.
SA: Going to sleep in MY bed. I can find a hundred faults with her if need be. But I loves everyone of them there faults.
I remember doing that last week. I tried to make sure I did not repeat any.
May 22nd, 2007 at 8:49 pm
woo hoo!!! *belly boing boing*
SA: Did I make you belly laugh? LOL
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:03 pm
maybe she thinks you look more handsome without beard LOL
SA: She says my beard and moustache scratches her.
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:37 pm
shave your beard?? noooooo
it’s sexy!!
SA: Wooo! Thank you! It ain’t going no where soon.
May 22nd, 2007 at 10:34 pm
LOL at the tv list… My mum likes to talk at my dad when he’s watching tv… and she turns the volume up way loud when she sees HK drama serials… and the cell phone thingy! Yes! My mum always does the ‘you never pick-up’ rant for my dad too! (and he says the same thing you just did up there!)
Talk about similarities! *grin*
SA: It’s like your folks are a mirror of me and the missus over here.
Or vice versa.
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:08 am
Congratulation on the weight loss SA!
For some reason, I think women *need* to talk to men while they are watching TV, and we always choose to do so when something exciting is about to happen in the show. Me - guilty as charged!
Hey, but you and me, in the same boat la - we both did this meme and also the one I tagged you on. SIGH.
SA: Thanks Giddy Tiger.
It is just a woman thing I guess.
The sad thing GT is I could probably do this tag summore. hahaha!!!
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:34 am
wow! *keeping quiet about the tag*
You lost weight???? Tell me the secret!
May 23rd, 2007 at 1:20 am
[…] Simple American […]
May 23rd, 2007 at 3:24 am
See, I told you it was THE Queen.. :p I deserve 10 browny points! :p
I don’t like facial hairs either.. pricky la!
What’s worst than an asian driver?? An Female Asian Driver!! :p
SA: I gib you a Tricolor Ribbon. I have not given one out this month and you were right.
They don’t prick me. kekeke
*zip lips*
May 23rd, 2007 at 3:32 am
4.5kg in 2 weeks!!! Give me the South Beach Diet!!!
SA: Should be in book stores. Also has a website.
May 23rd, 2007 at 6:07 am
I laughed at your Bob not a builder part, hubby would say the drill/wrench/hammer/saw are different/wrong in M’sia. I am ok with the look of a beard, but didn’t like the scratches too. no 4 sound familar withever hubby bought the “last” piece of toy to complete the collection.:-)
SA: Us menfolk HAVE to have our toys.
May 23rd, 2007 at 6:56 am
So you have to sacrifice all the “good” food? Does that include ice cold brewskies, too? At least what I heard about South Beach Diet is better than Adkins. Adkins diet is a artery clogger diet.
Congrats on your weight loss and support you all the way!
SA: I allow myself a cold one still. Prolly have one this weekend.
May 24th, 2007 at 4:23 am
u DO realize by now most women love multi-tasking? i’ll kiss my hubby’s feet if he is contented with just a peanut butter and jelly sandwich!
SA: My missus would never allow it. Dern! Oh well. Tonight I’m cooking cause her shoulder hurts. So I probably will clean up too.
May 24th, 2007 at 6:13 pm
#1 is a pet peeve of mine as well. It’s something she inherited from her family. What’s worse is they’ll ask each other what happened while they were blabbing. She’ll also ask questions about what’s going on even if I have never seen what we’re seeing or even just walked in the room.
SA: Mine does that too. Maybe because we are writers we are expected to know ahead of time.
#2 - I’m guilty of that as well, but I crank the TV if I have to. I got a DVD surround-sound system that lets us run the TV through it and I’ll rattle the whole house just to hear a whispered conversation.
SA: I’m guilty too. I rattle the rafters when I’m left alone too. Neighbors must hate it.
#4 - My wife rags on me if I purchase something cool. Doesn’t stop me either. Now, I do the same thing to her when she gets one of her “little treats” off ebay. She looks at me all hurt and I say “Isn’t fun, is it.” I sleep on the couch a lot.
SA: I’m too scared to try that.
#7 - I can do okay when it comes to household construction, but I leave all electrical and plumbing to professionals and it drives her nuts. I figure that if I screw up repairing a hole in the sheetrock, the worst that can happen is I have to do it over. However, if I screw up on plumbing or electrical, things can get hairy very fast.
SA: hahaha Actually we should be neighbors. I have no problems doing electrical or plumbing. But that is cause of army training that I know how to handle that stuff.
May 29th, 2007 at 3:24 am
Hee hee.. what a loving relationship you guys have.. such mild irritation..
SA: Would not be love if I did not annoy her some lah!
May 29th, 2007 at 8:31 am
whatever she does, u still love her deeply, don’t cha?
heheehe…
btw, congrats for shedding off all those pounds
keep up the good work
SA: I do. That is why I look forward to you all to meet her when I come across the sea.
Thanks. And I am still losing more.